Thursday, 31 July 2014

End of the month musings.

It has been so long since I last posted!! I have sat down to write posts, and then either worked on some art instead or worked on a few of the writing projects that I have got going on instead. But here I am! I am actually sitting down to write to you all now.
It's the last day of July today, I cant believe how quickly the year is flying by already! It's absolutely crazy, not just because I have started getting Christmas presents organised for my friends and family.
The weather has definitely reminded me that it is still only mid year with this winter being especially harsh on everyone. Only 1 month to go, until hopefully it starts getting sunny (for more than 2 days at a time!), flowers start to grow again and I can start wearing dresses without worrying about if I need to wear stockings underneath or whether or not to bring a jacket.

During summer, I always say I cant wait for winter to return, but during winter, I cannot wait for sun and warmth. I have a slight Vitamin D deficiency and being inside all the time, where I cant get any sun on my skin or actually have some sense of feeling in my fingers and toes can drive me to the point of near insanity sometimes.
I find on the sunny days that we get occasionally, that my spirit improves, I have more energy and I am excited to try new things. I have gotten better over the years, but usually during winter, I just want to shut off from the world, lie in bed all day, and ask that no one disturb me, but alas, that can't happen in todays society. I am pretty lucky not to have a main job, where my winter sadness can overcome people around me, but it can still affect my family and, in particular, my boyfriend.
But we trundle through life, don't we? Our moods and our lives go by in seasons, just like the weather, and I am glad that this is only three months of sadness, just so when the happy times come, I can really appreciate them.

We just need to open our eyes to the happy moments and the generous moments that are coming to us and be willing to take the opportunities that are arising before us every time some one tells us no, or we get sick, or a car breaks down, or someone speaks unkind words towards you.
For example, one month ago, I had just $9.56 to my name. Then 2 weeks ago, myana and pop gave me (and my sisters each) $100. It came at absolutely perfect timing. Then, my boyfriend found out he had passed all of his final exams and that he had now graduated. I then got an award for my volunteer services in the community.
All this was after my car broke down twice and then needed replacing, stress from T's exams, 4 bouts of sickness between us, me getting angry customers on Etsy, me slowly running out of money, and problems with friends and family.

I closed my shop for a month, feeling completely overwhelmed by it all, and not coping with all the orders I was getting and not being able to complete the orders or they were being regarded as not satisfactory. (It's open now!)
And instead, I focused on painting a lot of canvases, and put all my spare energy and sadness into the artwork. I felt I could just shift the world away from the problems I was facing and for the few hours I painted, that was all that mattered.

I'm slowly (very slowly) working on talking about how I'm feeling and instead of hiding behind 'work to do' excuses, so I can feel better in the end.

Well, I hope my ramblings have let you into a little piece of me. I hope to post more regularly, especially post things of my projects I am currently working on, and an upgrade is certainly coming up in the plans!
Please let me know what you think, and remember I am active on all areas of social media, so feel free to talk to me! I love having conversations with you guys!

Love to all!